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Note: Brian's thoughts on Stanley's suicide:
"Yes, I remember it well, I cannot recall the actual day, but it was a phone call from my grandmother telling me that Dad was missing, he wasn`t at work and his car was outside with the door open, unlocked.
I left immediately to go looking for him, some how I had a feeling that he was in the New River, so I walked miles along the river bank until it was dark, until I came to the foot of Alexanra Palace, where the river runs around the base, looked over the wall by the weir and saw a body trapped against the weir.
I phoned the Police and waited for an hour at 1am in the morning, then I was asked to identify the body.
It wasn`t your grandfather, it was some other poor soul, who I never knew.
The New River gave up my father 5 days later, Uncle Steve identified his body, he wouldn`t let me go as Dad had been in the river for 6 days and he felt that it was his duty to identify his eldest brother, something that I have been gratefull for for all my life as I remember my last vision of Dad.
Why did he do it, well he had been in hospital for a few days with cellulitus of the leg, something that I had, but he was convinced that as he tongue went black with the treatment, that he had cancer and the doctors weren`t telling him the truth. His best friend from the Blitz and all his Firesevice life, Alf, had died a lingering, painful, awlfull smelling death from cancer some months before and I think that it played on his mind.
Also he lived with Nan and Grandpa wre were constantly arguing, asking Dad to sort thin gs ou, his beloved daughter Maureen was away in America, I was away in Dunstable. He had been to see Maureen the year before, loved it there, but knew that he was tied to the old folk, so he didn`t have much money or time to go and see Maureen again, she couldn`t afford to come to him, so he decided that he had no future to look forward to, so he took his own life.
I don`t think Dad realised the pain that he left behind from both myself and Maureen, that at his time of need, we were not there to help him, to talk to him, to realise that we should have contacted him more often, to have shared his burden and worries. I have a deep feeling of sadness about his life and his ending, I loved him dearly, he was a wonderful caring, loving father, made me toys for Christmas because he had little money, but he taught me so many things, love of sport, love of wood, seeing only the good in people.
There is one mystery, Dad never left a note or a letter, or should I say, one was never found although he searched high and low. Both Maureen and I are certain that Dad would have left a note or letter, at least for us. Our suspicion is that Dad did leave a letter or note that was found by Nan, but its contents were not to he liking and she destroyed it, hence her attitude at the funeral.
Unfortunately Nan was furious with him for leaving her with Grandpa, how would she manage for money, not a word sorrow for her son taking his own life. Maureen was even more angry for Nan taking this attitude at his funeral and from then onwards, rarely kept in touch. Her view was that Nan only took us in so that we could act as skivvies for her doing errands and taking money from Dad for keeping us, I have a different view, if Nan and Grandpa hadn`t taken Dad, Maureen and myself in, we would have been brought up in a childrens home, so I am grateful to Nan and bear here no ill will whatsoever, just gratitude and love.
I am sad that Dad left us as he did, but it was his life, he had right to deal with it as he thought the circumstances presented themselves, with the thoght of a possible lingering painful death of cancer like his dear friend Alf, as it was, he didn`t have any signs of cancer at the autopsy, but that and the other factors of neither of his children close to him at his darkest hours, he endedhis life.
Some people may say he took the cowards way out, that what he did was wrong. To me, never, never, never, he was a brave man in the Blitz, he was a brave man in his passing.My sorry now is that I never said goodbye, but I hope that one day I will give him a big, big, hug and tell him how much we all, you, Karen, Sam, Francesca, Joseph, Katrina, Maureen, missed him.
That is why I love you and Karen and all your children so much, be proud of your Grandfather, I hope that I and you have inherited his good points, his love of his children, his kindness, his sense of humour, his love of sport, for me at least, his love of wood.
I have found this a sad, tearful letter to write, but it is part of our family history, you and your children should know the truth about their roots and know that their Great Grandfather was a brave, hardworking, honest man, who, like me, would have loved them to bits."
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