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Note: m Dec 1963 to July 1964 while serving in US Gov Military Itelligence.
News of my father's death is leaking out. Thank you in advance for any expressions of sympathy.
He and my brother Geoff are the the only people I know who have lived in three towns called Paris, although I, not they, visited the Paris Texas pub in Kilkenny, Ireland. Melissa impressed several friends when she told them I took her to Paris for one of our anniversaries. She had to admit later it was in Illinois, but we did get to the one in France later. We saw a show about fantasy landscapes which included color photos of "welcome to" signs along various highways that enter various American cities. You guessed it: there was the Welcome to Paris IL sign.
Will, Geoff and I had a father who was indeed unconventional, and who would be at great pains, and sometimes at great length to remind you of same. His attitude could be refreshing, but also rather shocking. As I was preparing to get married he made sure we understood that "it doesn't have to be forever". I deeply resented this message and timing. But I did divorce 12 years later.
Our father complained about the privations of his childhood which he blamed on organized religion and the fact that his father ministered to folks in need rather than pay attention to his own family, which was actually larger that some of his congregations . He did include his children in his preaching life and sometimes doubled the size of the flock and greatly improved the music by bringing them along to a service. His atheism was a personal revolt against his own father's priorities, but the way he purveyed his view reflected his own father's methods. The fact that he couldn't see this tendency in himself was bewildering to those of us who did.
He blamed most of the world's problems on organized religion and felt atheism was the only belief system we should have. He was quite dogmatic about it and preached it often. He offered little proof and seemed to want us to simply take his belief on faith - because he had given it a lot of thought and decided it. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, as they say. Nor, I'm sorry to say, does it stop with the generations just before one's own. Don't ask me to prove it.
We called him Dad when he was around, which he mostly was when he wasn't working or doing his taxes behind that closed door. He once stopped us as we came down the walk to our house in Mainz and asked us to consider the stars. He said there are people who make a living just studying the stars. I think he admired scientists and perhaps had wanted to be one, but just didn't have the organized and quick mind for it. Instead he was a science groupie, technical writer, non-technical team member, etc. When computers were the size and shape of a Hammond organ, he got a job because he could communicate in writing but was not an engineer. He told the engineers how they could make the computer interface better for everyday humans. He would be proud to share credit with Steve Jobs for some of the technical amazements in today's iThises and iThats.
Among other things, my father was the first person who told me about global warming and the greenhouse effect. Many, many years ago. He was proud that he knew one of the prominent researchers who published on the subject in the late 60's or early 70's. He was not a scientist but he was conscientious to a fault. He worked for the Census Bureau and, later, for the Air Force, as a geographer. He told us many years later that when they finally accumulated enough evidence to confirm it, it was his job to write the cable that went all the way to JFK's desk announcing that the USSR was indeed building the Berlin Wall.
One of his most maddening and ultimately redeeming qualities was his belief in the power of love. He seemed to think it was the answer to everything. That's a beautiful sentiment and is supported by lots of evidence. But love alone will not cure diseases. It is not the only necessary treatment for mental illness. When your daughter is in the grips of a presumably hereditary condition that requires subtlety, support, and chemicals to address, it's not helpful to be lectured about how to love properly. It is not helpful to be told that the medical and psychological professions are simply part of an industry designed to separate you from your money. It was in his attitude toward members of his family who suffered great incapacitation due to mental anguish that my relationship with him became more than I could maintain.
John Konrad Kern gave his kids some fantastic experiences and certainly encouraged the odd and unconventional point of view. Without his urging I, a kid of 7, would never have heard the evening call to prayer on the roof of a Rabat hotel and faced, with my Mom, the question of when exactly to flush the toilet. (We waited until the prayers were over, then flushed, then were mortified to hear the prayers start up again, and then relieved when the sound of the flushing toilet had no effect on the man deeply concentrated on his rituals just a few feet away.)
His relationship with my Mom was difficult from the beginning and finally ended when I was 12, in 1966. I have an enduring memory of the two of them fully enjoying themselves in each other's presence as they listened to a comedy record by Tom Lehrer. When I told him about that, years later, he said something about how little he and Nancy had in common. (He was a religious atheist Democrat; she was a Republican sunday school teacher who probably didn't believe in God.) Of course, when I told my Mom about the memory, her first words were, "Are you sure it wasn't Bob Newhart?"
He used to talk about how amazing it would be to live long enough to experience the next millennium. I sent him a tie tack when the year 2000 and all the Y2K hoopla came around. Little did either of us know that he would live 16 more years and be blessed with such a comfortable place to grow old surrounded by excellent caregivers and Geoff and Karen.
Geoff tells me that he got nicer as he got older and that he has made new friends in the Paris TX area. He has become appreciative of kindnesses. He has lost his ability to lecture and correct. He stopped proselytizing against the idea of God. He had an amazing arc of a life. He did the best he could with who he was.
written by John M Kern ( 1st son)
Aug 22 2015
Dear Martin, Tom and Steve:
I spoke with Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery (2900 Sheridan Rd, St. Louis,MO 63125) as well as the military honors office.
Monday, October 19,2015 @@ 10:30 a.m. will the the date and time of JKK’sinurnment and the corresponding military honors.
The ceremony will take place at what they are calling a shelter. Then,later in the day, we will be able to return to the National Cemetery,columbarium B, to see where exactly dad’s ashes were placed. This is thecolumbarium that overlooks the Mississippi River.
Please give this information to any and all relatives who may want to attendthe ceremony.
love,
Geoff
Note: Inducted to WWII 03/17/1943 at Jefferson Barracks, MO Separated 05/18/1946 at Fort Bragg, NC Lived in Mainz, Germany from July 1960 to Dec 1963 then on to Paris France at Villarceaux near Thoiry fro
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