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Note: Our dear brother, Bob Aylesworth (Robert Wesley Aylesworth Jr.) died on July 24, 2009.
The following notice, dated July 28th, 2009, was copied from the Calgary Herald.
"AYLESWORTH , Robert Wesley Jr. October 3, 1937 - July 24, 2009 Bob Aylesworth, beloved husband of Arlene Aylesworth of Calgary, passed away on Friday, July 24, 2009 at the age of 71 years, after a courageous battle with esophageal cancer.
Bob was a man who wore many hats. He was a devoted family man who cherished and loved his family with all his heart. His entrepreneurial spirit led him to excel in many fields. A graduate of Mount Royal College, he started his career working closely with his grandfather at Anglo American-Purity 99, Gridoil and Ashland, during this time Bob also served as Project Manager for Scenic Acres Ranch and the white building on the hill was a great achievement for him. He later worked alongside his Uncle at Conventures. As a part owner of Sunalta Trailer Park he welcomed many visitors to the city with a wonderful place to camp. He worked to build Tri Media Studios and Valley Ridge. He went on to the printing business and his final career path was fitting, as he started Cochrane Dodge Chrysler in 1985 and after selling it he still worked there - it was home.
An enthusiastic volunteer he worked tirelessly to create the Western Heritage Centre and volunteered with the Calgary Stampede. As a dedicated Mason and Shriner he spent many hours on Shrine projects. While a resident of Bearspaw he was devoted to enriching the Cochrane area community. As a board member of the Nickle Family Foundation and Cochrane and District Community Foundation he was able to direct funding to many worthwhile charitable organizations. And he always was available to give his time when needed. An avid lover of cars, his last days were filled with the restoration of his 1949 Ford Woody Wagon. Through the years his car collection numbered in the twenties.
He and Arlene enjoyed traveling and went many places in their time together. They cherished their last two winters, motor-homing in California with Sam and Diane. Bob's greatest gift was how he endeared himself to everyone he met. Bob's friends were of utmost importance to him. He proudly would exclaim that he never burned any bridges. He has left a piece of himself with all who shared in his life.
He will be lovingly remembered by his wife of fifty years, Arlene, sons Ken (Tracy), Dean, daughter Debbie (Michael) and grandchildren Robbie, Jordyn, Andrea and McKena. His love of his siblings Sam (Diane), Tom, Carol (Allan), Sigrid (Glen), Allen (Wendy), Arthur (Debbie) and Frank (Mary Anne) was ever present. He was Uncle Bob to many nieces, nephews and grand-nieces and nephews and a cousin to many. He was predeceased by his father Wes, and mother Agnes, brother Allen and nephew Sam. A Celebration of Bob's Life will be held at the Al Azhar Centre, 5225 - 101 Street N.W. on Thursday, July 30, 2009 from 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m., with tributes at 2:00 p.m. Everyone is welcome, Bob's door is always open.
You may forward condolences through www.mcinnisandholloway.com <http://www.mcinnisandholloway.com> . Bob's family send a heartfelt thank-you to the Palliative Home Care team and all at the Rosedale Hospice who helped make his final days peaceful. In lieu of flowers and to continue Bob's philanthropy, please make donations to your favoured charity. In living memory of Bob Aylesworth, a tree will be planted at Fish Creek Provincial Park by McINNIS & HOLLOWAY FUNERAL HOMES, Crowfoot Chapel, 82 CROWFOOT CIRCLE N.W. Telephone: 403-241-0044."
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Following is a summary of some memories of Bob, as spoken at a 'Celebration of Bob's Life', held on July 30th, in Calgary:
So much to say '85 and yet even all we do say
is not all there is to his life
Family Reflections on our dear Bob
July 30. 2009
Thank you Arlene, Ken, Dean and Debbie
for asking me to share some family reflections
as we remember Bob
with a sense of meditation, Bob´s humor, and thanksgiving.
Thank you, also, to my brothers and sisters.
I hope I´ve captured some of the memories that are most important to you.
Where shall we begin?
=============
Perhaps with the names:
Bob, Spike, Tom,
Carol, Sig '85 Allen, Art and Frank.
Bob, Spike, Tom,
Carol, Sig '85 Allen, Art and Frank
Bob, Spike, Tom,
Carol, Sig '85 Allen, Art and Frank
We are and always were `the eight children of Wes and Agnes´ '85
and even as we grew, and matured, followed our dreams
and came to have our own families '85
we always thought of ourselves primarily as
`the eight kids.´
We were and are a unit '85 we thought of ourselves and still do think of ourselves primarily as `one of the eight´ '85 even though Allen died 8 years ago and Bob has now died.
We are `one of the eight.´ That is the solid ground on which our lives are built.
Bob was the oldest '85 but we were all equal and all of value.
We know that, or we were supposed to know that, '85 because mom and dad taught us that it was so.
`Your turn to set the table:
`Salt and pepper,
cream and sugar
bread and butter,
knives, forks and spoons.´
`Salt and pepper,
cream and sugar
bread and butter,
knives, forks and spoons.´
Monday night: Bob to wash the dishes, Tom to dry.
Tuesday: Carol to wash, Art to dry.
I don´t remember how long that schedule continued,
But there was a day when mom tried to organize all of us.
Saturday mornings we had to clean our bedrooms in the basement,
Before we could head to a movie or go out to play.
We had to hoe '85 the rows of potatoes in the garden.
We had to carry pails full of water, so the new trees would grow.
The tasks set before us were not optional!
We were told what was expected of us '85
And we were expected to do what we were told
Because mother was always sure that whatever she said
was the right thing to say and to do!
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This did not always work out the way mother planned.
Very early, for example, when Bob, Tom and I were the only children,
Mom called us all into the living room in Elbow Park
and spoke about some bad thing that had happened.
She told the three of us that we´d better talk this over,
and let her know who did this terrible thing.
She then closed the living room door, and left us alone to figure it out.
Tom was about three, I was 4 and Bob was 6.
Bob took the lead ...
and suggested that either Tom or I should say that we did it.
That way '85 only one of us would `get heck´
rather than all three.
I don´t remember how this worked out,
But Tom has asked me to clarify today
That he did NOT start the fire in the basement.
Thus '85 it must have been Bob or me.
It might have been Bob '85 but he would never say.
Another list we repeated often was:
Ronald, Arnold, Roy, George and Bruce.
Ronald, Arnold, Roy, George and Bruce.
They were our five cousins on my dad´s side of the family.
There dad and mom were Arthur and Edna.
Dad´s mother died when dad was six.
His father had left the family soon after dad was born '85
He joined the army, fought in World War I,
was gassed, was hospitalized
and eventually settled in Calgary.
When he was 9, Dad was sent to Calgary, with his brother Arthur,
to join their Father
Dad was close to his brother, but these two
were never close to the father (at least that´s what dad told me).
Dad completed grade 8 and then quit school and was on his own.
His father died when my dad was 19. We never met him.
His brother Art died when my dad was 33.
Dad was on his own '85
His focus was work, the family and the Masonic Lodge.
My earliest memories as a child are that Bob was very close to Dad '85
They spent time together. They played together. They built things together.
Later they worked together
And Bob joined the Lodge because it meant so much to Dad.
He was also very close to Mom.
He quipped about her moralistic lectures,
And gave her a big hug when she took herself too seriously
But he also truly & deeply enjoyed her '85 and valued her wisdom.
Bob could irritate mom and dad, and he could frustrate them,
But he also kept in touch with them '85
And applauded their efforts
And laughed with them '85. and watched over them.
He wept deeply, as we all did, when mother died.
And in the years that followed, after Mom died '85
He often said to me about Dad '85 ``We so fortunate to have him.
We´re so lucky he´s still around.´´
Of course the other anchor in our family was mom´s side of the family:
Grandma and Grandpa Nickle '85 and their family:
Sammy and Rosemary and their daughter Suzanne
Carl and Nola, and their son Terry
Later Carl and Diana, and their children Davie-Sam, Sheri,
And Bob and Mike Smith
And Olga and Howard Young and their son Charles.
And later Olga and Art Chesney.
We are and always were `the eight children of Wes and Agnes´ '85
And yet we were ALSO valued members of my mom´s family, the Nickle family.
We had our ups and downs, of course, AS ALL FAMILIES DO '85
And yet we have always defined ourselves in terms of BOTH
Our large nuclear family AND our large extended family.
NONE OF US MAKE SENSE apart from this large family setting
In which we grew, failed, rose again and persevered.
By the time he was 14 or 15, Bob began to show his skills
As a Mechanic and as a Craftsman.
His first car was a 1936 Ford,
And he learned how to tear it apart and how to put it together again,
While working the Purity 99 garage in Montgomery.
His car was black, & everything under the hood was painted either Black or Silver.
A year or two later our `BA´ '85 Bob Aylesworth,
met a lovely gal `AB´ '85 Arlene Brown '85
and they were married in 1958.
For awhile they lived in the big home that was owned
By Grandma and Grandpa, down in Elbow Park '85
But later they built their own home
On Hillside Avenue in Bowness,
Just one block away from Mom and Dad.
Morley Hagan met Bob around that time, and went home to tell his wife´´
``I´ve just met a superman.
Only 22 year old, and he has just built his own house!´´
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Tom remained a bachelor and committed his life to special needs children
and the building and management of Foothills Academy.
One by one, the others of us married and had families of our own.
Each of us, Bob included,
tended to live as if our own nuclear families
were simply new branches within the larger extended family.
Our spouses and our children were now also
Children and Grandchildren of Agnes and Wes
And they were new Members of the Extended Aylesworth Family
and the Extended Nickle Family.
(Arlene Brown, Diane Parson, Al Cameron, Glen Mundy, Wendy Rogers, Debbie Herrington and Mary Ann Buchner)
We expected them to take their place in this larger family
And we would be a little disappointed when
this did not work out as fully as we expected.
AT TIME THIS HAS BEEN A BURDEN FOR OUR FAMILIES
BUT I BELIEVE IT HAS ALSO BEEN A WONDERFUL GIFT.
At this time I´d like to comment very briefly
on the hidden role of religion in our family life.
Dad spoke very little about religious traditions and religious practices.
He did say that as a young child, after his mother died,
he was required to attend a Methodist Church with his grandfather, every Sunday and every Wednesday night.
His job was to manually pump the organ, so that the organist could play.
`No happy memories there,´ he said.
Dad was proud that he had helped to build St Edmund´s Church in Bowness,
but neither he nor mom were strongly active in the parish.
Mom was much more outspoken and quite negative at times.
She had been active in the Anglican Church as a young girl,
but something happened & she felt she had not been supported by the Church.
She turned away from the Church,
and focused instead on the writings and example of two great men:
- Ghandi, in India, who encouraged non-violent approaches to social justice, and
- Albert Schweitzer, who cared for the sick in southern Africa and created the philosophy of `reverence for life.´
For mom, real religion was all about social justice and caring for those in need.
This was the religion she wanted us to follow. The rest made no sense to her.
When I expressed an interest in attending St. Edmunds, when I was 17, mom said I could not attend. Soon thereafter, Grandma Nickle spoke to me about the importance of the Church. I explained that Mom did not want us to become part of the Church
Grandma spoke to my mom about this.
The next day, mom told me that I could join the church if I wanted to.
And years later, when I was ordained in 1964, both mom and dad were very supportive, as were and all of my other brothers and sisters.
Speaking personally, I found that the Christian religion supported and added to
the extensive ethical teaching that I received from mom and dad.
It was a source of strength that helped me to FIND and TAKE my place in the family and in the larger community.
I believe that Bob found something similar when he joined the Masons and then the Shrine. Bob deeply valued the lessons and the rituals of masonry. They seemed to help him define himself and to value himself.
As an older teenager and for many years after that,
Bob earned his living working with Grandpa Nickle:
- he worked on the rigs in Gull Lake Saskatchewan
- he worked at the Gridoil warehouse in Calgary
- he worked in the accounting office and
- he worked for many years as Purchasing Agent
At the same time, he was handyman for Grandma,
On call 24 hours a day, to do whatever Grandma Nickle thought should be done right away.
Later I believe he oversaw the construction of the great `recreation building´ at Scenic Acres.
He admired Grandpa greatly,
and yet he also experienced Grandpa´s temper and impatience from time to time.
Bob used to say he´d been fired at least fifty times by Grandpa.
Grandpa would then simply ignore the flare-up and continue as if nothing had happened.
Grandpa later sold his companies to Ashland Oil,
and shortly thereafter Grandpa died.
Bob worked for awhile longer with Ashland,
and then began work with mom´s brother, Carl, at Conventures.
These were not easy times, and eventually Bob left
to begin his own companies.
He had his ups and downs financially during these years,
And yet he persevered, as he always had.
For awhile he worked with Al Taylor at Phoenix Press.
He built Sunalta Trailer Park on the TransCanada Highway,
And then sold it to the Developers who wanted to
develop Tri-Media Studios on what became
Valley Ridge '85 and then they all lost money together, Bob included.
Eventually he established Cochrane Dodge Chrysler,
With guidance from his very close friend Larry McCook
And support from his co-owners: his son Ken,
Rick Kanski and John Fraser.
Throughout the `busy years´ when each of us was building our careers
and looking after our own young families,
The Eight of Us and our spouses, children, and friends,
continued to meet hundreds of times at Mom´s and Dad
and we met together in our own homes.
We have a small number of significant disagreements from time to time,
but the wonderful truth is that we have remained together
as a caring and supportive family for our entire lives.
Bob loved to place his spoon in his hot coffee, and then
surprise you by lightly burning your arm!
And he loved to scare you by driving madly in the boat, at Invermere.
He was absolutely delighted at the births of Ken and Dean,
And he was often `over the moon´ in his admiration for Debbie.
Carol remembers that when each of her children were born,
Bob fibbed his way into the hospital, so that he could see the new babies.
We all wish the same quality of life that we have enjoyed '85.for our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins and friends.
============
About eight or nine years ago, when mom and then dad were ill,
something gentle and new began to happen '85.
we began to draw together even more.
Bob noticed this, too,
and told me often about how great it was
to be in touch more fully, in a new way.
As we shared time together during these last five years,
and especially since March 2008, when he first became ill,
I realized in a new, quiet way
That this wonderful brother of mine
had grown to become a very courteous
gracious and truly endearing person.
The love of family and community, which was always core,
Had become central to his life.
He was always tracking what was going on around him,
and he affirmed and encouraged almost everyone that he met.
In these later years, he seemed to be increasingly interested in
and genuinely intriqued by the wonderful lives
that each of us are building in our own ways..
Of course you know that he deeply loved his wife, Arlene.
I certainly hope that Arlene knows this deeply.
Bob had many wonderful strengths, and one or two limitations,
but he could never have carried out the life he led
if Arlene had not been there to encourage and enjoy him.
Sadly but graciously, in the past few months,
he expressed many apologies for the trials he had brought her way.
Arlene just smiled, and quietly continued to support him,
as she always has.
He loved his children, Ken, Dean and Debbie
He expressed much regret over the break that developed
between Ken and Catherine.
He expressed deep appreciation for Tracey.
And he repeatedly emphasized his love for and best wishes for
Robbie, Jordyn, Andrea and now McKena.
Did you know that McKena has the most beautifully shaped head
of any children in the entire world! Bob told us this often.
He loved to hold her.
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Thank you for sharing this time with us today,
as we all try in some small way,
to honor Bob '85
and to give thanks to him and for him.
Our hope and our conviction is that
we will see him again and that we will be with him again '85
Amen'85. May it be so.
[Written by Sam Aylesworth, brother of Bob Aylesworth. As a child Sam was called "Spike".]
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