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Note: ible and as much as I can remember. In regards to his relationship with his parents; I recall Clyde always addressed them as Father and Mother. To me that sounded rather proper and respectful, some might say "stilted"--we kids used Mom & Dad--but the latter was not the case. There was a warm and comfortable relationship between them. While they seemed to have "all their eggs in one basket," with their life centering around Clyde, they seemed to have the rare gift of not "crushing" him. He had the freedom to be himself. The temptation in those days was to categorize all only children as spoiled or indulged which was surely not the case with Clyde. You felt that he liked himself, had good self-esteem, and was a happy friendly honest, responsible, even tempered, affectionate person as well as courteous, kind and considerate of others. He had a little quick wit, and easy laugh and a good sense of humor. He could take a joke and laugh at himself if need be. For example: my younger brother and I made some roast beef sandwiches for Sunday supper, and in his, between the slices of roast beef, we put a "slice" of rubber inner tube about 1/8" thick. I can still recall seeing Clyde trying to eat properly a sandwich which wouldn't give way. But he too laughed when he became aware. He was quite the opposite of a sad person. I never heard Clyde ever use suggestive or foul language, swear, or slander anyone. When I received your letter suggesting emphasis on any negatives, I thought that would be the hardest. Last week, my sister-in-law was here; she along with Truman knew Clyde well, so I told her of your letter about negatives and she whole heartily agreed that would be difficult. My family all thought highly of him. You may be thinking if she admired him so much why didn't she marry him. That's a good question. Coming back to Clyde's relationship with his parents. I assume that they must have lovingly but firmly disciplined Clyde in order for him to accept and assimilate values conducive to his development into the responsible young person he became. I never heard any bickering between the parents or between them and Clyde. They appeared to be contented people. I'm sure they were good neighbors, but I didn't see any coming and going in the home. I never heard them or Clyde mention any relative-uncle, cousin, or anything. I did hear that his Dad, at least, came from Wisconsin. They were always gracious, and hospitable to me, making me feel welcome. According to my brief diary which I read in 1990 and tossed out, Mrs. Falk invited me to stay there for the weekend more than once; I don't remember staying there overnight, in their 2 bedroom bungalow. I know I didn't sleep with Clyde--that I would have remembered. :) Usually the musicians played on Saturday nights, but something special must have come up. Clyde looked like his Mother--nice skin, nice arched eye brows, even features and lots of brown hair. Mr. Falk was more average looking. Don't know what Clyde's Dad did for a living--he was always home when I was there and his job if any wasn't discussed. He may have been retired for that matter; or laid off because of the Depression. They seemed to have no lack. Your Dad must remember them. I liked them very much. I recall Clyde's telling me that his Father had suggested when the Depression came that he and Clyde utilize their time by building a house next door, which Clyde would have when he was ready to get married. Clyde took me to see the house when it was framed up. He asked for my opinion on a couple of things, and the thought came to me that I wouldn't be living in this house. In regard to what i remember most about Clyde to put it simply and briefly, "What a 'nice guy' he was!" Comparing him with peers, I always felt him to be more outstanding than the average in physique, his value system, his temperament, and his musical talent. In that day--depression years--he seemed "more advantaged" as well. In regard to activities, you would think when he dated he would want to go to concerts or something of a musical nature. But that wasn't the case. His schedule might have had something to do with it too; that is preferring quieter activity. When we were at his house, we often hiked back to what I believe was call "Soft Water Lake" and it also seemed that their property went at least pretty close to the lake. (There have been many times when driving down I96 I have thought of it, and would look up and see Clyde's house till Denny's took over.) Within the past year when my nephew was talking some of past days and mentioned to me liking the fact that Clyde and I would come and take he and his two younger brothers to a movie, or for a ride or to the beach or just for ice cream cones. Clyde always seemed to like my family, both my sisters and brothers. It was definitely mutual. He and my brother Truman developed quite a close relationship. We did go to the beach quite a lot in summers. I remember meeting him there once wearing a new and supposedly stylish garb (much like current styles; clothing and hair styles go in cycles) when he uncharacteristically rudely reminded me that I "looked like I had on my pajamas." Funny thing was that I had the same feeling when I first put them on. So that took care of that garb for me. After the death of my father, our farm became somewhat of a weekend "retreat" from the city for our family and friends--whoever wished to come which included Clyde. We "hung around" with my brothers and their girlfriends and with other friends who might drop in, but apparently more so than I realized. I would "drag" Clyde off to be with some of my friends. As time went on Clyde vehemently said to me--and this I never forgot--"I came to see you and not all your friends." So I did back off considerably. It was true, since moving to Muskegon, our time together was pretty much limited to Sunday afternoons and early evenings. In Grand Rapids it was a little different, but not too much so since Clyde had already gotten into pretty much a day and night schedule. Then he worked at General Electric which I think was fairly close if not his first full time day job. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being alone with Clyde. He was always nice to be with--never boring or depressing. We never had any heated arguments or quarrels. We did disagree some, but agreeably. In times of intimacy, our self-control was strained at times but it held. It was not unusual during this depression era for relationships to last for four or five years, before going on to marriages (with improved economic conditions) or to go in the other direction. The reason I recall Clyde's working at General Electric was because one Christmas he and my two brothers decided they would get us 3 girls clocks for Christmas, particularly since Clyde could get discounts. Well, the two girls were delighted with theirs. I had hoped Clyde would get me a radio, which was totally unrealistic as well as selfish in view of no verbal commitments, plus in those days a radio would be fairly comparable to a television now. At any rate apparently my body language spoke louder than my words, since later I overheard Clyde sat to my brothers, "I guess our clock Christmas didn't go over so hot!" The years I lived in Grand Rapids we dated exclusively even though we had no understanding to that effect. We placed no restrictions on each other. After moving to Muskegon well over 2 years after meeting Clyde, we continued to see each other mostly every Sunday and primarily only on Sunday, by his choice, because he had very little other free time. I had no reason to question whether he was seeing anyone else during the week since there seemed no time. Basically I think Clyde could be called "one woman man", certainly not the play boy type. I had every night for the most part free except Sundays. Saturday night was largely date night for the young people. So after meeting lots of people in Muskegon through the Co. Extension Office, out in the schools with 4H Clubs and other community activities I, of course, met other young men, and began to date casually. Clyde would usually ask me what I did on Saturday night, and I would tell him. He made little comment, didn't ever appear upset and continued to come, which I liked. After a few months in Muskegon some girls invited me to attend a business girls club after work on Fridays. I found the leader to be a very brilliant and excellent teacher of the Bible; she also taught a Bible class in the public school at night, so I started to attend both, and became interested and fascinated by what I was learning--one thing being that by virtue of being a member of the human race I was a sinner and as such needed a Saviour, so I made a decision to repent of my sin and accept Jesus Christ as my Saviour. I told Clyde of my decision. He didn't seem as pleased as I. Long before he had told me his father had told him that as a child he had been forced to go to church, and he wasn't going to force his son to go; consequently Clyde didn't. I never heard whether he did in later life or not. Quite naturally then as time went on, some of my interests began to change and center around the church, and gradually we drifted apart. I didn't remember this but according to my diary we separated for a year and then Clyde looked me up again. I'm sure I would have been glad to see him; I recorded a few words of his that women love to hear, but added that "things hadn't changed any," referring I think to lack of time for quality time with him which every young woman wants and needs and no further interest expressed in regard to Christ, which from my point of view only, were negatives. Perhaps in his coming back he reached the same conclusion, only from his perspective. I do recall some events around what became our last date, in what had become a fragile relationship, or more accurately stated a terminal one. Don't think we saw each other for any length of time after this year of not seeing each other. Our last evening together was pleasant--no talk of it might being the last time we would ever be together again as a couple. Before leaving he asked if I would like them to play (Tyce Tereway's Band) a song on the following Saturday night on their broadcast. It was October and I loved October moonlit nights, so I asked for "Shine on Harvest Moon." After he left I felt a sense of sadness and the thought came to me (a woman's intuition, I guess) that Clyde won't be back anymore. Its the end; which it was. Saturday night came--it was a moonlit night and out-of-doors, with a radio (bought myself :)) I listened to what amounted to our "swan" song. I felt sad, but at the same time feeling it was the best way. (I would like to think Clyde felt the same way.) At any rate he wasn't heart broken or devastated. Thinking back he probably felt more frustration than I was sensitive to, being a normal man with desires and plans to marry and establish a home. So I can understand, while he had nothing to hide, or of which to be ashamed, it could be a little painful, as well as complex to talk about hence his reluctance. As to whether we loved each other--we were not "madly" in love with each other early on or we would have found a way to marry in spite of my very early unusual financial obligations in the days when there was no social security aid to dependent children, etc, which contributed to my feelings that marriage would be out for a long time. Obviously, we liked each other a great deal, (I feel he a little more so than I), had good times together, enjoyed being together, otherwise we wouldn't have seen each other all those years. Not having made any solid commitments to one another we were free to "move on" if and when one chose, which in time Clyde chose to do. I don't remember just where your grandmother (seems like Clyde called her something like Idalene) came into the picture, it could have been around the time of Clyde's final decision. I just remember so clearly sitting in Clyde's car with Idalene between us. I don't recall how or why I was there except to think Clyde must have wanted me to meet her. I know I wouldn't have pursued them. He said they were going to be married. (Had the feeling that this was a short courtship.) To me your grandmother had the most beautiful violet eyes I had ever seen before, beautiful skin, nice even features, like Clyde's. She seemed small in stature, although I never saw her standing. It was the first and last time ever seeing her. I was impressed; instead of feeling any jealousy, I felt genuinely glad for Clyde. Your father and uncle must be handsome men, judging from the parents. A cousin of mine at one time had seen Clyde at some local school performance, in which his boys participated; she told me later how proud Clyde was of his boys. You asked about his friends. The ones I knew (including my brothers) had pretty largely the same values. None were trouble makers. It was both depression time, with not much money to spend and also "prohibition" time, so alcohol was no problem for them; drugs were unknown, and while smoking was common for the most part they didn't. Cars seemed to be important to them, of course and girlfriends. Clyde and his ideas were pretty much down to earth conservative and sensible. As to what Clyde valued most. Briefly would say, his relationship with his parents, and friends, including me, and of course, his musical opportunities. Regarding your kids in relation to Clyde, "He was a clean cut, handsome, loyal, congenial, and responsible young man--a person of whom you would be proud." Doesn't sound much like kids language, does it? You can do much better when the time comes. Most Sincerely, Esther Bliss Mellema February 10, 1995 For a complete transcript, see Michael Falk.
Note: Esther Mellema recalls the following from her friendship with Clyde: It has been around 60 years ago since I knew Clyde (late 1920's and early 1930's) but I'll try to answer as objectively as poss
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